I don’t even want to live anymore. I don’t know what to do. My mum makes jokes about me things to do with my anorexia and it hurts so bad normally I try to hide it but today I just broke. I hate myself because they’ve made me so fat. Because I’m so ugly. And I’m so selfish. My sisters lives would be so much simpler without me. I can’t stop cutting myself it’s like an addiction. I always think to myself if it would be better for my family if I didn’t exist. I don’t want to hurt my friend but I hurt so bad and I know that’s just another selfish thing because everyone has there problems. I guess some people are just stronger than others. I don’t want to back to the hospital. EVER AGAIN! But I’ll probably have to. It isn’t even helping I’m meant to be recovering it’s stupid. Maybe they think if they get me at a high enough weight I’ll change. They’re wrong.